So Much for My Happy Ending
by Attharun
Summary: Happens after Episode 28 Seed Destiny. Cagalli thinks about Athrun. Why he joined ZAFT, why he pretended he didn't know her. Please read and review. Dedicated to all the people out there who are pissed with Athrun right now. Cagalli's POV


Disclaimer: Nope. Gundam Seed and Gundam Seed Destiny ain't mine at all. By the way, the song isn't mine either. It's Avril Lavigne's. The song is called, "My Happy Ending".

a/n: Hello, me again! Surprised, again? Yes, I got VERY pissed off with Athrun Zala during episode 28 of Destiny. Hey, I may not be able to watch it, but I saw the summary and screenshots. And now I can't believe what happened. He's more worried about Shin than Cagalli? He blocked Kira from PROTECTING Cagalli? That guy is such a jackass! Um…ehem. Well, this angst fic will tell you more about what I think. Enjoy the angst!

_So much for my happy ending…_

_Oh…oh…_

"Are you sure you're okay, Cagalli?" Kira, my twin brother, asked me for possibly the millionth time.

"I'm fine, okay?" I said calmly. "I'm fine, Kira."

"Well, I'll leave you for a while," he said. "Gotta go check on the ship." He went out the door of my quarters, which quickly shut after he exited.

I sat on my bed and remembered what happened a while ago.

_Athrun…it's as if he never cared at all,_ I thought.

_Let's talk this over_

_It's not like we're dead…_

Why did he even have to go back to ZAFT in the first place? I wouldn't have to fight him if he never left. _And he told me…he would be with me till the end, _I thought.

_Was it something I did?_

_Was it something you said?_

He lied, I know. And for that, I was angry at him. But mostly, all I wanted to know was why he did it.

_Don't leave me hanging in a city so dead…_

Tears streamed down my face before I could even think about holding them back. _Was it because I decided to marry Yuna? _But I only did that to take away the anxiety of my people. Doesn't he understand that?

…_held up so high on such a breakable thread…_

I looked at the ring I was wearing. The ring Athrun gave me. Looking at it brought back more memories, more pain, and more sadness.

_You were all the things I thought I knew_

_And I thought we could be_

"Athrun," I said wistfully.

_You were everything, everything that I wanted_

_We were meant to be, supposed to be but we lost it_

_All of the memories so close to me just fade away…_

_You left me. I thought you would come back. You lied. You _LIED, DAMMIT! I screamed in my head. _You said you would protect me, but you blocked Kira when he wanted to do what _you_ were supposed to do. _

…_All this time you were pretending_

_So much for my happy ending… oh, oh…_

My tears went down fast, and I couldn't will myself to stop. If Kira saw me like this, he would start playing twenty questions. _Which would be quite annoying, wouldn't it?_ I thought.

But no matter what I did, my thoughts would always dwell back to Athrun.

_You've got your dumb friends_

_I know what they say_

_They tell you I'm difficult_

_But so are they_

Did he care too much that he was a Coordinator? _So he would choose ZAFT over us, any day of the week, that bastard,_ I thought bitterly.

_But they don't know me_

_Do they even know you?_

_All the things you hide from me_

_All the shit that you do_

Flashback…

_Kira's speaker was was on, so I could hear the words he told Athrun while he sliced up his Gundam._

"_You…" He sliced off the Saviour's left arm with his beam saber. "…Don't know how much…" he sliced off the right arm. "…Cagalli's been suffering. You don't know how much she's been crying…" he sliced the right leg, then the left. Athrun didn't make a move to stop Kira. "…because of all the people who died. Because she thinks she can't do anything about it. And because of _YOU_! She won't talk to anyone, but I know. And now I'm only trying to do what _you used_ to do. So don't you dare stop me, because you don't give a fucking damn about her!" _

_I couldn't say a word. My mouth was dry. My mind was frozen. So I just watched. Watched as the Freedom cut off the Saviour's head. Watched as the only thing left of Athrun's Gundam was his cockpit._

_You were all the things I thought I knew_

_And I thought we could be_

I decided to lie down on the bed and faced away from the door. _If Kira comes to check on me, he'll think I'm asleep. Hopefully he wouldn't come in, _I thought. _Hopefully._

But I continued to sob silently. How couldn't I? The people of ORB needed a leader, but was I really one? Now they were in danger because of me. I was their representative, and I had tried my best. But it didn't seem to be good enough.

_Worst of all, Athrun Zala didn't seem to give a thought to it, or to me,_ I thought ruefully.

_You were everything, everything that I wanted_

_We were meant to be, supposed to be, but we lost it…_

I had always imagined what life would be after the war. I imagined Athrun helping me out when there were just some things I couldn't do by myself. We'd live in a quiet place.

But of course, that fantasy was not going to come true. Not for me at least. I _wouldn't_ live happily ever after with him.

…_all of the memories so close to me just fade away_

_All this time you were pretending, so much for my happy ending… oh, oh…_

For the first time today, I smiled, even a little.

_Thanks for giving me the illusion if true love, Athrun_, I thought._ I was fooled pretty well. I will never be able to forget you. I'm not sure if I'm even going to get over you. I'm just wondering… did it ever hurt you? It seemed so easy for you to rejoin ZAFT without much hesitation._

_It's nice to know you were there_

_Thanks for acting like you cared_

_And making me feel like I was the only one_

_It's nice to know we had it all_

_Thanks for watching as I fall_

_And letting me know we were done_

I knew that by going back to ZAFT, he was telling me that our relationship was over. But deep in my heart, I really wished that wasn't it.

Thinking about that made me cry even more. I knew I would never forget him. _I can't. I can't!_

I realized that I'd been breathing heavily.

"No, I'm not gonna break down because of him," I whispered. "Athrun, I don't know you anymore. To me, you're just another ZAFT pilot in a mobile suit." I then took off the ring and placed it under my pillow.

_You were everything, everything that I wanted_

_We were meant to be, supposed to be but we lost it_

_All of the memories so close to me just fade away_

_And all this time you were pretending…_

Just then, the door opened.

"Cagalli?" Kira said softly.

I sat up. He saw my tears, which I didn't even bother to wipe off.

I hugged him. I cried. He told me everything would be all right. He was the perfect brother. At least, for me.

…_so much for my happy ending…_

_Oh…oh…oh…oh…_

a/n: By the way, I just made up the flashback. I hope the fic's okay. Please review. Hope you like my first angsty songfic!


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